Monday, August 17, 2009

The Addiction

I grew up in a family of alcoholics so I was around alcohol from a very early age. I first had a drink at age 12 and it seemed like everyone was drinking around me. It was fun and games. My drinking got worse when I became a teenager-I was drinking all day every day. I drank all day, stayed up all night, slept until early afternoon. It was a cycle. I dropped out of school in the 10th grade, because of the drinking. But I needed to drink, because it helped me deal with my step-father's sexual molestation. I tried to tell my mother, but she wouldn't believe me. The alcohol helped.
My drinking escalated at at 15 I started going to bars-more drinking and partying. When I was 16 I met an older man who introduced me to Cocaine. It was like an amazing rush. But after a while the Coke lost it's affect. I tried Crack Cocaine. I used it every other day and it was draining my bank account. I was spending up to $600/week. I also got fired from my job for using. But my boyfriend took care of me so it seemed ok. I kept using Crack until I was 21...but I still dip and dab every now and then. I still drink, but not like I used to. Maybe 4 times a week. As I got older, my system didn't respond as well to hard alcohol, so now I just drink beer.

My substance abuse issues have also landed me in jail. I was incarcerated for drug trafficking-I spent 30 days in Rikers, then came home and went back to my same behaviors.

I have also gotten very violent as a result of using--I have wounds all over my body from getting into fights. But it was like I'd fight with someone, and then the next day we'd sit down and get high. I have battle wounds all over my body.

I think I'd like to stop using, but it's so hard. My husband uses so it's hard for me not to. I will say that I have decreased my alcohol and crack cocaine use, so I feel good about that. If
I'm not using and my husband starts, I just remove myself from the situation. This works sometimes, but sometimes I get weak. I go to Harm Reducition meetings, which help--it relieves so much stress for me. I also get acupuncure a few times a month which helps with my stress.

I've been to treatment and was 7 years clean. I was hanging around the wrong people and I knew I had money. So I picked up again, both crack and alcohol. At this time, I know that I could go to treatment if I want. There's a facility right around the corner from me. I know it's there when I'm ready. But not quite yet. I have figured out how to make it work better for me--no more altercations, no more jail.

For me, Harm Reduction has worked.

1 comment:

  1. "Harm Reduction" Coming to a neighborhood near you soon "The Failed Vancouver Experiment"

    Since when if someone is "Sick" is it a good idea to keep them "sick" please take the time to review my work and hope this misguided policy doesn't spread across the country.

    These "Videos" are the sole property of "RichardMclaughlin007" "PhatpoochProductions" "" "Eastvancouverdarkness" ®.

    We are the Creators, Producers, Videographers, and the Editors, all materials belongs to us, and we have made it "Public Domain" mainly for educational purposes. Feel free to use any of this for Public Service.

    Vancouver's Drug Nightmare
    Drugs flowing in the street


    the Harsh Reality of Drug Addiction

    East Vancouver Darkness - Lisa

    methadone heroin interviews